We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
