sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Nicole vs. Life
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
