Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
