How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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