your thong is hanging out like whoa
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Randomize
