i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
handjob tips. give me some.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
