this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
