Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
