now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
