I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
