If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
