another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
