Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
