is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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