i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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