Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
