Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
