Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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