I can tuck mytits in my pants
Duck Duck Cougar?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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