If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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