Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
