It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
