Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
My vagina is officially offended.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
