Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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