guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
