chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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