She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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