what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
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