Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
The adults are the big ones right?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
