Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
