How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
