We got so high we made milksteak
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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