I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
