I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
