We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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