I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
