just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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