So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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