super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Randomize
