my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
He shit in the fireplace
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
