Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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