So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
