I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
