Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
