I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
