How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
They have beer where we have blood.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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