I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Oh god it's open bar.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
