Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
