the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
