Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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