But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
