saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
