Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
