You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
