your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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