Non-Jews are for practice
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
